india: what i am doing and why

It's true!

For those of you who don't know, I'm headed to India for three months to complete projects I created for undergraduate study. I had to buy the ticket first and do the planning second, otherwise I would have continued to make excuses as to why it was not practical to go. With student status it is the perfect time for this exploration! Now is the time to go so I will. Currently, my loans are in deferment, I don't have any pets, kids, or mortgages, and I'm pretty much set. Jes has given me both her blessing and showered me with thoughtful gifts that will be really useful in my travels, including a hand-bound journal with daily quotes, a laminated currency conversion chart and a hand-sewn pouch filled with first-aid supplies. True love it is. I say, "I want to follow my heart but it means leaving you for a while." She becomes excited for my adventure and encourages me to do it.

The projected average cost of $5-20 per day includes lodging, food, and some travel. This estimate does not include the plane ticket to and from India or the unexpected costs I've run into while making sure I have all the shots and goods to comfortably navigate the subcontinent. I've read that a $10 day/night may consist of bedbugs and no hot water. Sounds fine to me! My aim is to keep costs at $10 per day but am willing to spend more for safety, health, and adequate sleep (not planning on sleeping in train stations or skipping nights of sleep). I will report on things of this nature as they arise...

What I am doing:

Traveling will be fun. Half of the trip will consist of meeting people in specific places and doing specific things, the other half of my time will be solo (and remains unplanned). I won't be traveling and sightseeing as much as I will be settled into particular places for 2-3 weeks at a time and then moving onward. I hope to report on my experiences in such a way that is helpful to those who also might be interested in going to India.

My student project is perfectly from the heart. I am taking part in four areas of study:

Philosophy: Based on the words of Ramana Maharshi (and cross-referencing other works, including the ancient Yoga Sutras), I will ponder the "Self," the "I," and write papers about these concepts (how did I stumble upon this awesome life? Really? I am bursting with gratitude!)

Meditation: I will attend a workshop and conference on Yoga Nidra. Part of the workshop will be exploring the philosophy and spiritual aspects of this practice. The other portion will be more scientific, and we'll discuss practical applications of Yoga Nidra, studies that have taken place in the western world, and use EEG machines to record our brainwaves during various states of the meditation.

Dreams: I will be reading various theories on the significance of dreams, keeping a dream journal, and comparing waking, dreaming, and meditative consciousness (drawing from the philosophy and meditation portions of my contract). Basically, I want to explore the nature of reality, ahem... Reality (reality and Reality are two different things!)

Touring: I am meeting my professor and a couple of other students and visiting different places in Delhi, Sarnath, Varanasi and Rishikesh. My professor is planning a program in India in 2013 and we will be assessing places that may be placed into her program plan.

The story behind this, in brief:

While attending school I realized that I could study anything (within reason) and still have a bachelors degree. Yoga and meditation are far more beautiful to me than any of the other options, and discussing the meaning of existence is my favorite tangent! Once, during a significant moment of quiet I understood everything and nothing to be exactly the same. It made sense in a way that is experiential, so to put words to it actually turns it into something that it was not, so I'll stop here.

My practical reasons for going to college have been neatly tucked away (to be used for grad school instead). Now is the time to follow the heart and trust.

Choose Your Own Adventure

I created a fun blog for an assignment in school. Here it is! Have fun

Ode to My Undergrad Experience

I am filled with gratitude for the profound transformation that has taken place through the wide range of experiences made available to me through my Evergreen degree.

Ideas.
Ideas.
Ideas.
Ideas.
Tactile.
Applicable.
Experiential.
Community-based.
Connected.
Motivated.
Understanding.
Real.
Exploring.
Memorizing.
Creating.
Thinking abstract.
Love.
Aliveness.
Research.
Dedication.

Discipline.
Planning.
Organizing.
Outlining.
Ideas.
Ideas.
Ideas.
Ideas.

The realities which are the fabric of this setting represent what I would like to create for myself in the coming years. Here, ideas are allowed to take flight and swirl in the minds of young, idealistic misfits with the container of the academic world holding them accountable for follow-through. Nothing is impossible as long as you know who to talk to, which rules to follow (and which ones are breakable and under what circumstances), and how to connect to the people that are doing what you want to do.

Ultimate freedom,
Within definite boundaries,
A perfect dichotomy that somehow transcends its own.

Criteria that must be met in order to move forward....

A rough outline of ______________ (fill in the blank with whatever your mind desires).

Creativity does not, as I previously had thought, exist only in a painting, colored-pencil sketch, or hand-stitched outfit, assembled with eclectic scraps of material.
Creativity is not just found in an art gallery in the city,
because the whole world is an art gallery!
Every aspect of this life is touched with a piece of yourself, transformed into something different simply because you interacted with it.
Once this is understood, the beauty of each pulsing breath becomes an act of utter divinity,
and life,
a joyfully painful engagement that just is.
Nature manifests this best,
and we are all a part of nature.

My college experience started out as a blank canvas. The canvas was the limitation, yes, but it also provided the space for the vivid painting that now rests upon it, nearing its completion. I thought when I graduated I would hang this proudly on my wall, only to realize that the painting would dissolve and only the memory of the experience of painting it would remain a part of my cells for always.

Not Broken (but I knew that)

"Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is her patience."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson



Injuries are our greatest teachers!

It has been one year since I've been able to use my wrist in the ways I have in the past; Pressing, weight bearing, sculpting, digging, carrying, and bending all lead to an achy feeling inside. Practicing all weight bearing yoga postures on my forearms since May, I've had to challenge my desire to "accomplish" postures and instead, find out what yoga truly is, awareness of body and breath.

When teaching yoga, I've wrestled with the challenging of articulating the poses with words, rather than simply offering a visual demonstration. I've had to shed my previous assumption that, as a yoga teacher, I should be able to do everything I teach- not true, not true!

Taking care of the body is important. The most effective way to take care of the body aside from action (pursuing the necessary medical attention) is equanimity. Pain X Resistance = Suffering. Pain X 0 = 0. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. This wrist injury is, to some extent, the least awkward of some of the ouches I've experienced in this lifetime. It is the perfect opportunity to practice equanimity.

"Forever is composed of nows."

-Emily Dickinson

Philosophy is Still Fun...

Complex and Fascinating Idea

Bigword the bigword bigword a bigword bigword, the bigword bigword bigword bigword bigword bigword bigword. Bigword Big-word, bigword the bigword bigword. The bigword big-word, bigword bigword bigword, bigword bigword bigword, the bigword. Bigword bigword, important date, bigword bigword bigword. Bigword bigword the bigword the bigword. A bigword bigword bigword bigword bigword bigword bigword bigword, big-word bigword, the bigword bigword.

Conclusion:

Let me get my dictionary! (five hours later, the paragraph is translated)

National Coming Out Day

Coming Out =

getting it over with
being honest
being ostracized
introducing my partner
being accepted
being told I'm a sinner


The more I think about the "closet," and the reasons for staying in it, in some instances, I realize that it is not my issue. If you have a problem with it, it's your issue. For me to worry about the consequences of coming out, I'm making your issue my issue.

meh.